7-6-5 This is the number sequence I use to remember the date my mom passed away (July 6, 2005).  It is hard to believe it has been 18 years ago today. Days like today make me wonder many things since she would now be 78.  If she were still here, would she still be gardening – growing the best cucumbers in the world (according to Nicole, Josh and John)?  Would she still be fishing? I know she would be enjoying her family.  It also makes me ask the hard “Why” questions.  Why did she have to get cancer?  Why was it not curable? Why did she die so young?  But as I ask those questions that there are seemingly no answers to, I have to go back to the truths I do know: 

We live in a fallen world where there is disease, pain, suffering etc.

God is Sovereign, and His ways are not my ways (they are much higher).

God knew her and she was created with a purpose
Jer 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart”

Our days are numbered 
Psalm 139:16 “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

Her days were decided to be 21,979 or 60 years, 2 months and 2 days.  That is true for all of us.  We all have a number that is pre-decided. Only God knows. Are we living our lives to the fullest in light of that information?  I would say probably not, or at least not all the time.

My mom kept a journal through her cancer journey and it is a treasure to have.  It is hard to read sometimes as it stirs up all sorts or emotions.  I am so thankful for her entries like this on May 1, 2005 – “Thank you Jesus for Your loving kindness & mercy.  Your will be done.”  And then on May 4, 2005 (her birthday) “Thank you Lord for 60 years of blessings”.  She gave glory to Jesus during the hardest time in her life.  What an example she set forth.  Because of her faith in Jesus, I know I will see her again. It is only a matter of days.